God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize