who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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