Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279

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(334): View more from Alabama

Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

Girl's gotta have her standards.

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(206): View more from Washington

Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

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(360): View more from Washington

Edward fifth and chaser hands

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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off

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(703): View more from Virginia

Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...

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