# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...