Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think that's fair trade off

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  (910): He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj (910): I think that's fair trade off http://tfl.nu/hrzk
  Replies (50) Good night (3746) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?

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  (512): So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!? http://tfl.nu/rmce
  Replies (31) Good night (3016) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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  (817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!' http://tfl.nu/lcp1
  Replies (14) Good night (4931) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew

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  (360): i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew http://tfl.nu/ocbg
  Replies (45) Good night (23807) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.

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  (580): I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off. http://tfl.nu/wwj4
  Replies (11) Good night (3630) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze

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  (303): I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze http://tfl.nu/sp88
  Replies (51) Good night (1033) Bad night (7540)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?

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  (239): I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise? http://tfl.nu/0r1q
  Replies (25) Good night (6989) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.

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  (970): Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well. http://tfl.nu/7lfy
  Replies (20) Good night (7402) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.

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  (228): Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer. http://tfl.nu/k59r
  Replies (6) Good night (3805) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1577) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame

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  (952): and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame http://tfl.nu/7sdj
  Replies (4) Good night (2008) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.

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  (+27): Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain. http://tfl.nu/mmkg
  Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.

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  (425): She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude. http://tfl.nu/4r57
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.

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  (570): I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/xtaz
  Replies (6) Good night (287) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.

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  (703): Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/t0sc
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (117)

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