OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind