Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.

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(256): She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating. http://tfl.nu/eva0

Replies (58) Good night (4562) Bad night (2125)
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(614): View more from Ohio

how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready

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(614): how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready http://tfl.nu/g5tv

Replies (17) Good night (10125) Bad night (702)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.

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(413): he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home. http://tfl.nu/1p9s

Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (3432)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?

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(920): Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices? http://tfl.nu/95d8

Replies (8) Good night (3066) Bad night (1318)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.

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(678): I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/66oa

Replies (7) Good night (1395) Bad night (879)
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(510): View more from California

but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.

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(510): but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/vgwo

Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (1286)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.

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(419): I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation. http://tfl.nu/t73g

Replies (2) Good night (940) Bad night (740)
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(716): View more from New York

Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?

(585): View more from New York

Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.

(716): View more from New York

.......

(585): View more from New York

I'm just looking out for you.

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(716): Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday? (585): Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change. (716): ....... (585): I'm just looking out for you. http://tfl.nu/cj8v

Replies (16) Good night (2459) Bad night (737)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.

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(864): her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality. http://tfl.nu/j8og

Replies (11) Good night (1833) Bad night (1138)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

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(620): Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/x9wv

Replies (5) Good night (1157) Bad night (413)
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(269): View more from Michigan

When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.

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(269): When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor. http://tfl.nu/zxit

Replies (3) Good night (1127) Bad night (303)
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(302): View more from Delaware

my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.

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(302): my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list. http://tfl.nu/q5hw

Replies (8) Good night (392) Bad night (732)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

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(615): I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake. http://tfl.nu/9fke

Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (294)
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(415): View more from California

Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

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(415): Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license? http://tfl.nu/k1wl

Replies (9) Good night (697) Bad night (183)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

My life hurts

(615): View more from Tennessee

I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake

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(615): My life hurts (615): I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake http://tfl.nu/1mlr

Replies (2) Good night (205) Bad night (337)

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