Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police

  (616): View more from Michigan

  What?!?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police

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  (810): Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police (616): What?!? (810): What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police http://tfl.nu/unre
  Replies (20) Good night (4748) Bad night (953)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous

  (269): View more from Michigan

  If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.

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  (269): You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous (269): If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you. http://tfl.nu/8o9h
  Replies (17) Good night (6497) Bad night (854)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems

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  (505): Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems http://tfl.nu/opwd
  Replies (19) Good night (4530) Bad night (1097)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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  (978): My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night http://tfl.nu/zzxc
  Replies (10) Good night (4664) Bad night (1101)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was

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  (920): We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was http://tfl.nu/2xqa
  Replies (7) Good night (3348) Bad night (739)
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  (760): View more from California

  Houston, we have a blender

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  (760): Houston, we have a blender http://tfl.nu/azdt
  Replies (4) Good night (2340) Bad night (765)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now

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  (205): They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now http://tfl.nu/ocyi
  Replies (10) Good night (1993) Bad night (885)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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  (406): You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways http://tfl.nu/cne1
  Replies (6) Good night (753) Bad night (1371)
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  (585): View more from New York

  pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.

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  (585): pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable. http://tfl.nu/657k
  Replies (0) Good night (724) Bad night (330)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat

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  (978): Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat http://tfl.nu/tu1a
  Replies (8) Good night (690) Bad night (363)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.

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  (505): We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back. http://tfl.nu/nmtq
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"

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  (410): he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco" http://tfl.nu/ntm8
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (345)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.

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  (501): His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/o5lz
  Replies (15) Good night (1515) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.

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  (978): I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar. http://tfl.nu/13q9
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (221)

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