So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.