I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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