you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
