Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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