Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize