She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
