So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
