Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
youre lurking in front of me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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