I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
