Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
