am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
