what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
