Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
