i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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