yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
