You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
