I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
