Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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