Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
