me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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