I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
