i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
