duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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