i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
