I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
