That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
