I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
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Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
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What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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