my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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