I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
