whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
