he thought i was a dude.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
