Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
