i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
