i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
