There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
this is an emotional support booty call
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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