you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
