i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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