It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
A+ Viking dick
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
