I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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