we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it glows. i had to have it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
