I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
