guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
