help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
