And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
