we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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