Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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