I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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