My room smells like vodka and shame
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
