I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
