I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
