The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
