So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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