Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
