her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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