You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
So. Much. Porn.
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