I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
