i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
