lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
