just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
