when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
