i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
