I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize