When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
