whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
