you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
