I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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